Relationship speeds

Well hello beautiful people! Hopefully you are having a great day/week!

I wanted to post about this in case anyone reading this is being told they are moving too fast or too slow in a relationship. I want anyone who is reading this to feel comfortable in their decisions.

Years ago when James and I started dating we moved in together after eight months, five months after that we bought a car together (primarily mine, he just needed to be on it to build his credit), and we began the search for a house. We were told we were moving way too fast and because of that people stopped talking to us.

So let me explain this. Whether I was with him or not, he would have bought a house. See the townhouse we were living in belonged to his mother. And it was falling apart. There was a part of the ceiling missing (I’m not entirely sure why, and I think James explained it once or several times). The tub would start to fill with water while you showered (which made me take quick showers). The carpets were in desperate need of replacing. It was a used house that had a lot of human and animal traction through it.

But he didn’t want to stay there. He didn’t want to fix it up and keep living there and honestly, I didn’t blame him. When my dad died I hated going home. I hated living in that house. James felt the same way. It’s one thing to miss a parent after they pass, especially if they pass unexpectedly. But it’s a complete different feeling to live in the house without them.

So either way, he was buying a new house because the townhouse was not a future option for him. I just ended up part of his present and future.

Every relationship moves at different speeds. Every couple is different. Some couples take years to even say I love you. Some couples spend years dating before making any big steps. Then you have couples who get married less than a year after meeting. It’s by the preference of the couple no one else except for that couple. Some people get engaged and spend years engaged before ever becoming married. And then some couples don’t get married at all. You aren’t wrong for any choice you make. As a couple you decide when you want to do something. You decide when and if you get married.  

So did we move too fast? Nope. We moved at a speed that was comfortable for us. We winged it a lot of the time.

If you are in a relationship and someone is telling you that you are moving too slow or too fast. Look them in the eyes, and tell them you are moving at a speed that is comfortable for your relationship. End of story. You owe them nothing. You owe it to yourself and your partner to make the best choices for your relationship. If that means living a part, then live a part. If you want to live together, then do it. Don’t allow others to dictate your relationship.

If they don’t like your answer, then maybe they aren’t meant to be a part of your future.